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Delighted: to be of Light

There have been moments in my life when I could not understand my Purpose…when life felt meaningless. As a teenager, and even as an adult, times arose when I would question my existence. Life just did not go as I had planned.

Then, one night…when I was on the cusp of 47 and bravely single… I attended a Cancer benefit and ran into a guy whose band had just finished performing there.

He was a person whom I knew from a distance, in my past…the cute older brother of my younger sister’s friend.

(He said to me.

I have never told anyone this…until now


I have this soundboard tape


When my band played a show

at the Dulaney Inn in Towson…

you remember that place?…


I still listen to it all of the time


when I am feeling low…

there is this one part where

We covered the Dead’s Sugaree…

I jammed on the keyboard

You know that keyboard section?….in Sugaree? The one that really gets going?….

Well…I always hit play, rewind, play rewind

on that part of the tape

Cause that night

When I finished jamming

You were in the audience and

You shouted out

Kirk, you are the MAN!


And it has always makes me feel good…still does.)

Now I understand.




The concept of meditating followed me around for several months, if not years.

Create space around your thoughts. You can find this space within moments of stillness. Create those moments of stillness through your breathing. Listen to it flowing within you. All thoughts disappear…rise…disappear. This is alignment. This is surrender and the letting go to the present moment.  Initially you may remark to yourself, “Oh, I feel it, I feel Now!” and immediately step out of meditation, but in time those moments of alignment widen, expand.

Initially I quieted my mind by repeating the word “Love” several times before focusing on my breath. I also spent the first part of my meditation in a spoken conversation with God, the Universe. During this time I would begin with giving thanks. Then, I would take a few minutes to gratefully acknowledge who I am. Lastly, I would spend time offering my intentions, visualizing them and feeling them as if they existed with the intent of creating the energy of positivity around them.

When my thoughts would not allow me to visualize my intentions, and threw negative ideas in their place, I learned about the concepts of worth and value. For the first time I recognized that my beliefs about my Self worth did not support my dreams; my dreams were illusory concepts that I myself felt were unattainable, and I unworthy of receiving them. Also, upon further reflection, I recognized how shallow they were relative to the world at large.

After a few days of attempting to offer my intentions before meditating, I posted: Do you feel worthy of your dreams? Do you feel they are of value to the greater good? I feel as if my responses to these questions are the key or the obstacle to my desires.

The Purpose of meditation is to quiet your mind. Quieting your mind enables you to make clear and guided decisions that are based in your well-being. Fear, judgment, vengeance, worry will not lead you toward achieving your dreams. Occasionally, when negativity is acted upon, they will offer you moments of gratification that are fleeting, rooted in nothing.

Feelings of happiness and fulfillment will guide you toward creating and fulfilling your dreams. When your decisions rise from a space of peace, your desires shift, clarity guides you. In meditation you will arrive at a sense of peace. Connect with the peaceful energy that is flowing through you. Use this peace as your center.

Meditation will bring you to a state of inner peace. From there, your mood is your choice.  If you begin to think a thought that makes you feel poorly…immediately replace the thought with a positive one. I would think about my childhood pet goat and focus on the feeling I had with her as an active part of my life, next my mind moved to Rachel, my daughter, and an image of her smiling. This brought my feelings to an inner crescendo. These thoughts focused my thoughts onto happiness.

If we are to wake up each day and desire peace and happiness in our lives, we have to be honest with ourselves that throughout the day a variety of possibly unhappy experience will abound. But, if we can view those seemingly negative moments as part of our human being expansion, necessary in the progress of our dreams and our purpose….would not unhappiness not exist? Would not everything then, be happiness? In light, we must feel our way through the day toward whatever it is that we desire. If I desire peace, no matter what I experience within a moment, I direct my thoughts and feelings to those that stimulate a sense of peace within me; even if they have nothing to do with what I desire. Yesterday the idea, “your mood…your choice. Smile….grow,” rose in my thoughts.

Consider using a guided meditation as a way to learn how to focus your thoughts.

Feelings direct your thoughts; thoughts guide your feelings. When both thought and feeling are in alignment I feel a sense of purpose and peace.



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